10 Years of Marriage: How We Made It

On this day, June 10, 2006, exactly 10 years ago, I married the woman of my dreams, the love of my life or as present day media has it my #WCW and #WCE. But no matter how many words there are to describe this woman, they all fall short of what she truly means to me.

You would think that it would be easy to express my feelings about someone whom I have been married to for 10 years, but it’s actually quite hard, because she means so much to me in so many ways. Often times when I meditate about our marriage, I find myself shedding a tear, as she brings tears of joy to my life. She has been there for me through some very tough times, and has seen me at my lowest point in life, but yet she still loved me. I could go on and on about her until our 11th wedding anniversary if needed – but I just want you to know as you read this that, I LOVE THIS WOMAN.

When I first saw Shannon some 17 years ago at the University of Kentucky, I knew I was going to marry her. She doesn’t believe it, but who would you believe – me or her? We began dating 15 years ago, and it all began after we attended a wedding in Louisville of mutual friends and we followed each other back to Lexington late that night in separate cars, so that we could get back safe. That night was entertaining, as we got pulled over for speeding down I-64, but the police officer happened to be a friend of her older brother and he let us off with a warning. Now prior to that evening, we had a biology class together, and we had hung out with mutual friends in the dorms on the campus – and yet, she had no idea that I knew what I knew.

I knew I was going to marry this woman!

And that feeling of marriage became even stronger as she started Pharmacy School. I would often spend late nights with her in the library, helping her study for exams by quizzing her with note cards. She was there for me when I graduated college, and I was there for her when she graduated Pharmacy School. And we’ve been there for each other ever since. We almost didn’t get married, because as Shannon would tell you, “I was moving to slow on asking her to marry me.” Hell, even my mother told me that I need to speed it up or I was going to lose her. But a real man never panics…I knew what I was doing!

So, as I thought about our past 15 years together, with the last 10 years of our lives being married, I decided to share 10 things with you about Shannon and our marriage that I believe you will find entertaining and helpful in your own relationships:

1. She gets more beautiful by the year. I mean seriously…there are times where I find myself just staring at her, and I think to myself, “Damn this woman is fine.” And it’s crazy, because as we get older, the more beautiful she becomes. Her skin is flawless and her smile brightens my day. Even after two kids, her body hasn’t looked better. And my point gets validated every time I show someone a picture of her as they always say, “Your wife is soooooo hot.”
2. We are best friends. I mean this literally…we share everything. We laugh at each other’s jokes – even when they are corny. We talk and text all day long, sending jokes, emojis and bitmojis to make each other smile. We talk about everything under the sun, and even when we are not interested in what the other is talking about, we play it off real well (wink-wink).
3. We have separate friends. While we have our couples that we kick it with, each of us has a set of same-sex friends that we hang out with on a regular basis. She has her girls-night-out time and I have my time with the fellas. You need that separation to allow your relationship to breathe. There is nothing worse than a suffocating partner.
4. We keep each other in check. While we are both successful in our respective careers, we don’t allow our success to define us. We are each others biggest supporter, and neither of us have made a major decision without consulting the other. When one of us does something good, we share it with each other first. When one of does something wrong, we correct each other. We support each other wholeheartedly, but we don’t stroke egos over here – we keep it “one-hunnid.”
5. We know our roles. While it takes two to make our marriage and our household work, we both know what each other’s strengths and weaknesses are, and rather than nag each other about the weaknesses, we capitalize on our individual strengths. We each have responsibilities in this marriage, and she allows me to be “the man” and I allow her to be “the woman” without stepping on any toes.
6. We share the same passions. We both have a passion for style, music and parenthood. We joke all the time about how we catch each other “shopping too much”, but we love to model in front of each other. Our genuine love for music makes road trips lots of fun as we can go from pop to R&B to trap music real quick. We both also love being parents to Sydney and Christian, and we strive to raise our kids with the same morals and values that our parents instilled in us. We work hard at being parents, and we are always on the same page when it comes to our kids.
7. We workout together – sometimes. While we both like to stay in shape with our own workouts, from time to time, when Shannon misses a Zumba class, she will ask me to work her out at home. And the next day, she is always sore :). But I enjoy those moments with her, and would love to do more workouts with her. I am usually in the gym 3-4 times per week and people always ask me, “how do you stay so dedicated to the gym with all that you have going on?”, and I simply reply with “Have you seen my wife?”…LOL…She is half the reason why I workout. I can’t have a gorgeous wife, while I’m out here lookin’ like “Hustle Man” from Martin.
8. We have dates at least once a month. Before kids, we used to have lunch every week. And then once our careers changed and kids came, those lunches became non-existent. It took us awhile to get back to it, but we have a date night once a month, and I have a reminder on my phone that goes off on the 1st Monday of every month that tells me to schedule a dinner date. When you are married with kids, it’s important to have that alone time, so that you can remember why you got married in the first place.
9. We believe in God. While this may sound simple, you’d be surprised at how many marriages exist where the husband and wife don’t believe the same thing, nor do they worship in the same church. Neither of us are preachers or bible experts, but we make every effort to be in church on Sunday, as well as take our kids with us. We exemplify God’s love by how we treat each other, and our kids will learn about God through our marriage. We have conversations with the kids about God and what He really means, and we also have conversations with each other about our individual walks with Christ. And right now, both of us volunteer to teach children’s Sunday School once a month at St. Stephen Church.
10. We forgive and move on. No marriage is perfect, and while ours may look that way from the outside, it’s not. We’ve done plenty to each other to piss the other one off, but at the end of the day, we love each other, so we forgive and move. Besides, I ain’t lettin’ her go anywhere anyway – even if she wanted to. It’s ’til death do us part in the Borden house!